Belgian Man Discovers Wife of 19 Years Was A ‘He’

Photo: Examiner.com
Photo: Examiner.com
Photo: Examiner.com

After 19 years of marriage, a 64-year old Belgian found out he married an ex-man. The husband, named Jan, got the shock of his life when he discovered that his Indonesian wife, Monica, was actually born a man and later got a sex change before they met and got married in 1993.

Jan told a local newspaper, Het Neiuwsblad, that he felt like being assaulted. He also admitted that he faced legal problems with Belgian immigration in bringing his 48-year old wife to Belgium.

“It was a difficult task to bring Monica to Belgium. The Belgian courts had serious doubts about the authenticity of her birth and her identity papers, but over time had accepted it anyway. I thought she was an attractive woman, all woman. She had no male traits,”, Jan said.

He also said that both of them agreed not to have children since he already had two from previous marriage. Before the startling discovery, the couple seemed to live a normal life and his children had treated his ‘wife‘ like a big sister.  Apparently, Monica was able to deceive all of them, even pretending to have menstruation using sanitary towels.

“Even during sex, I never noticed anything.”

Things however started to change when Monica got a full-time job. He revealed that she started to make frequent night outs at clubs, wearing seductive clothes such as ‘ultra-short skirts and tiny tops’. He also discovered some romantic messages from other men in her computer. And worst of all, a friend told him that there were rumors about Monica actually being a transsexual.

When the inevitable confrontation arose, it led to domestic arguments. Unfortunately for the Belgian husband, authorities refused annulment of marriage. He is presently undergoing psychiatric treatment.

 Source 1

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98 Comments

      • Oh please, that goes for the deceiving spouse as well. Ignorance is the issue here which led the husband to such behavior. If both pursued honesty just before marriage, we wouldn’t be hearing any of these shenanigans like her tactics to fool a family. Shame on both of them!!!

      • I’m sorry, you misunderstood me. What I meant was that he will be so traumatized. He will either murder someone or just commit suicide bcoz of the experience of having a tranny for a wife.

  1. murder or suicide?. if so, that is only because our society’s ignorance would fill him with guilt. he clearly loved the person. and was getting his dick wet, so what is there to be mad about? If she was post op, she was considered a woman.

  2. Why was the couple denied annulment? The woman deceived the man, so the man has all the right to have the marriage annulled. If the man had accepted from the start that his wife used to be a man, then that’s the time annulment should be denied.

  3. if this is legit…

    it’s not an issue of marrying a trans or wharevers. the issue is that Monica lied.
    and it’s not bad to marry trans people or wharevers, but…some people just don’t do that, and can’t do that, and WE all have to respect that.

    • True, that she should have been honest and loyal to her husband from the beginning, yet with your last statement, I disagree. Gender should NEVER be an issue. Marriage should be built on love, among other things. If he truly loved her, I am very sure she wouldn’t have gone astray, and he wouldn’t have minded the gender issue at all.

      • I do respect your opinion, Jessica. But the fact that Monica lied to his man for 19 years is merely enough for the guy to decide to end their marriage. Also, there should be a rule of transparency when it comes to relationships. “Love”, on the other hand, is one of the greatest aspect of relationships. But it’s not just “love” alone.

      • She was a liar from the beginning. How can you say she would have been faithful if he treated her right when SHE betrayed him?? She lied from the beginning. I would have murdered her. Literally killed her with a gun!

      • Gender will always be an issue because not everyone would want to marry the same gender. Had he known that he was a man from the start I do not think any marriage would have taken place. Your argument that it will not be an issue will be applicable if that man is willing to marry another man.

        Just because society is slowly accepting marriage with the same gender doesn’t mean that everyone will marry one of the same gender.

        Besides Love and Trust go hand in hand. There are benefits in marriage and there are also responsibilities. Monica here was or should had been responsible enough to mention that she was a man. That is trust.

    • She’s a she. She’s a human being. Comments like yours, acting like those with gender dysphoria are ‘its’, are ‘things’, comments like yours get people killed. Think about that the next time you post something like this.

    • No he’s not. He’s been f**king a woman. He’s been f**king his wife. A man is someone who identifies as a man. A woman is someone who identifies as a woman. It’s really that easy. Try to read some science books for once.

        • Personally, if my wife of 19 years had kept ANY major secret from me for that long, I’d be very hurt, because a marriage is about trust. And I think if I’d had a gender reassignment surgery I’d probably want to know that my future husband was OK with that, before I married him… But I think it’s ignorant attitudes like the ones expressed here that would lead a trans woman to feel she had to keep her past a secret. In many parts of the world these women are killed, in many more, shunned. Maybe she didn’t think anyone would accept her if she was open about her past. Yes she’s deceived her husband and it must be an awful shock for him. No she’s not a man.Or gay, as some are saying. Nor does it make the husband accidentally gay. Nor does God care what a man and wife do in bed. All you people are being very silly.

      • You live in a fantasy world. the penis between his legs that he had cut off would say otherwise. Some people claim to be vampires. Does that mean they are really vampires. What if I said I was a Dolphin? Does that make me a dolphin?

    • Did you not read the rest of the article? Monica was already CHEATING. That’s what lead to the whole discovery to begin with! I have no problems with her being a trans woman but the fact that she also betrayed him is the biggest problem.

  4. Leviticus 20:13

    “‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”

    • Are you still following the old testament? who said that Bible promotes killing? A transsexual would not be even punish for his lies. It’s the essence of Freedom. God give you good sense to exercise freedom. What about saying Leviticus mentioning Do not eat pork because its dirty. Now pick some people eating pork and non pork eater then test their hygiene and count the bacteria and virus in their body… Do not confuse the world with the battle between understanding the Bible literally or just taking the good message from it.

        • Revelations was a political allegory written about the Roman empire. I’ve read the bible many many times. Listen to Jesus. Everything after the gospels is just people’s opinions, letters and arguments.

        • In my ancient belief before Christ (BC), We already believe on the highest omnipotent power. We call him ‘”Bathala”. Why “HIM” because “Man” is always stronger than woman so for all amazing creations we give credit to man as “believe HIM”.

          In my tribe before the Islam missioner stepped our territory during the 13th century, We already believe in our own God. It is a human principle to be admired but also admire and praise other who could make things beyond his capability. That is the history of calling ‘God’ the superior, Lord or the master.

          My Tribe believe the omnipotent, the creator of the Universe and called HIM “Bathala” but we also believe gods the big stones, mountains, big trees, lakes, river, moon, stars, etc. It’s the way how we admire those creations because they help us alive, water to drink from rivers and lakes, Moon and Stars to give light at night, Mountains where we farmed etc.. of their use.. that’s why we called them gods, we praise them and offer something to give thanks to them.. they are the source of our daily needs, food, water.. etc. so for me God exist in any way as how you believe and admire or praise the things around you.

          When Islam from Arabian arrived on 13th centuries, then Christianity from Spain on 15th centuries, we learned from them that they believe in God too as named Allah, JHVA (JEHOVA), Dios, Yeshwa, and Jesus Christ. So the name of their God and my God differ but the same direction pointing the creator of the Universe. So I found out that it is a universal human principle to believe on things around us or to admire and praise anyone who could create amazing things beyond each men’s capability.. … the bottom line.. its the history and origin why we call Lord, Master or “GOD”

    • How come these gays keeps on claiming they are being judged? It’s already the word of God!!! It is being stated to you! This is not about being righteous! You don’t want get hurt with the truth? Then don’t flaunt your doings! You yourselves “judge” other people (as you call it), don’t cry foul now that it’s being done to you…
      >.<

  5. What a sinner! Right from the very start that gay Monica when he changed who he was made a big sin of his life already followed by another sinful acts towards the others especially to the guy whom was married to him for how many years believing that his wife is really a woman. What a deceitful act can people do now a days with the technology and money they have in hand. Perhaps there are also others having the same case like them but still in such situation of being blinded by distorted person.

  6. SHE might have been born a male but she is FEMALE.
    The husband himself says he did not notice anything wrong with his wife in all those years.

    And now he is all tears?

    She might not be female in DNA (you know the XX and XY thing) but in my opinion she is female. And I do understand she was afraid of telling him about this, might not have been right and he might not have understoot but didn’t they marry eachother out of LOVE then?

      • Yes Regina a MAN will always be a man but a TRANS WOMAN is and always has been a woman, although they have been mistaken for male in early life due to genitals. Educate yourself please before you say daft things like that.

          • Jen, If we are assuming that God made the world (I believe this) then God has made many things we do not yet fully understand. Things that are really really weird. Trans* people are not at all strange when you take all of creation into account. God is much smarter than we are. Trust Him. I know lots of Trans* people of faith too. It is tough to be trans in this world. It is tough to be old. It it tough to be disabled. It is tough to be ill. If the people in those situations can keep their faith when confronted with things they do not understand, then you can too.

          • Hmmm Shan Ahan, those people did not accept what God made them to be. Monica is still man. He is just trying really hard to be someone he can never be. No matter what he do he is a man. God made man and woman only. Changing his gender doesn’t make him less of a man God made him to be. He cannot even bear a child. Which is for me, a very important role of women. Imagine what the world would become if everyone change their genders etc. Those transgenders that you know that are in faith, I hope that they accept who they really are. Pls, don’t be blinded.

    • Its just like being born African and wanting to become Caucasian. No matter how much you say you are something else you can never escape what you are or what your were. The problem with you people is that, no matter how bad society becomes, you’d rather deny and change yourselves rather than change how society accepts you.Transsexuals should accept that they are born men but want to live as women and not deceive people of what they’re not.

      And how can you call it love if there was deception in the first place. A requirement for true love is trust.

    • Did you not notice the cheating part? The reason her gender suddenly became an issue was because her husband caught her cheating. One thing lead to another when he eventually found out she was a trans woman. I really have no problems with a person changing sexes but I do have problems with people betraying their partners :/

    • Are you a transgender also? Because I want you to know that God still loves you. No matter what your sin is as long as you accept Jesus as you saviour and accept what God created and that he never ever commits mistake. 😀

    • So because he thought he was a woman it is legit. In other words you’re saying as long as you can deceive someone you’re not doing anything wrong. Just don’t get caught. Getting silicone put in your pectorals and having your penis removed does not make you a woman. WTF is wrong with people. It’s like saying having a 5 inch clitoris makes you a man. You guys are serioulsy misguided

  7. This man’s behavior is disgusting.

    Monica, however? Just another woman trying to live her life in a patriarchal society that refuses to acknowledge science and fact in favor of out-dated and sadistic ritual punishment.

    • Seriously? HIS behavior is abhorrent? He told him he was a woman? What exactly did the husband do that is so offensive? Getting sexually mutilated and injecting yourself with hormones does NOT make you a woman. If I was that man I would have literally killed him. Get a grip on reality Elle Boatman!!

    • Wait, why is his behavior disgusting? If I got married and then found out that my partner was born another sex from what they are now, I would seriously question MANY aspects of my relationship. I may jump ship, I may not, but this man was clearly a victim of a lie.

      For no reason do you have ANY ground to stand on while judging this man. I think it’s obvious you have some deep personal bias in this conversation.

  8. When I’m reading this article I just feel sorry for this guy… its a traumatic sh*t..I can’t imagine being fraud then you get married and worst you cant get annulment…shitty mother ducker this story!

    so disgusting!

  9. the problem is that, disregarding her being a transexual, she cheated on him. who wouldn’t be bothered that after all those years, your spouse haven’t been totally honest with you + cheated to you.

  10. this I call double whammy. Not being honest on your sexuality in the first place and becoming an unfaithful ‘partner’ over time (though the latter one needs to be proven). I feel terribly sorry for the husband! 🙁

  11. He probably knows his wife is a transgender way before they got married, he’s just trying to get back to her/him after he found out she/his cheating on him!LOL

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